


Halloween Hijinks

by Glue_the_Grue



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, M/M, silly halloween ship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-04
Updated: 2012-12-04
Packaged: 2017-11-20 06:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/582135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glue_the_Grue/pseuds/Glue_the_Grue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story requested on Halloween.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Halloween Hijinks

Problem Sleuth wasn’t really looking forward to going to a Crew party with Slick on Halloween, but with Ace taking his son trick-or-treating, and Inspector being dead-set on holing himself up in his apartment to keep out the “ghosts”, Sleuth didn’t really have any other choices that were guaranteed to give him a good time. The problem was, a good time with the Crew usually involved some bodily harm as well, and there was always a chance he’d be on the receiving end somehow.

He made sure to bring an extra knife or two, shoving them into his jacket before admiring his reflection in the mirror. He grinned, hoping Slick would find his over-the-top mobster costume to be amusing enough to laugh about instead of earning him a new stab-wound. The large, black hat he’d nicked from some goon was the finishing touch, and he gave himself a one-over before heading out the door, keys jingling reassuringly in his pocket.

He was going to go to this party, get a bit drunk, and have a good time. And if things went well, maybe he wouldn’t be sleeping alone at the end of the night, either. A fight or two would be worth it for that outcome.

It was when someone broke a bar-stool over his back that he started regretting his line of thought earlier that evening. Sleuth whirled around, trying to find who had done it, only to see Slick wrestling a guy holding some broken wood- that answered that question. He gave the guy a kick after Slick managed to get him on the floor, grinning and grabbing Slick by the shoulder to drag him away from the melee that had engulfed the bar.

“How did this start, again?” Sleuth asked him, ducking and weaving between the crowd of rowdy, badly costumed patrons. Slick just shrugged and pointed him towards a side door, taking a moment to punch someone before following. Sleuth managed to get through the door without any further mishaps, but Slick took a flying bottle to the head, and Sleuth had to drag him away before he got involved in the brawl again. Sleuth leaned heavily on the door after they ducked through, Slick glaring at him.

“Why’d you stop me? That guy was totally asking for it.” He touches the back of his head and hisses, hand coming away wet. Sleuth just shakes his head at him, disengaging from the door now that he was sure no one had followed them.

“A brawl can be fun and all, but this one’s just a bit too hectic for me, Slick.”

“Pansy, the fun was just getting started!”

“Sure, if I had only planned on a fight tonight, it would have been perfect. But my other plans kind of hinge on us not being in the hospital-”

“What other plans?” Slick questions, waving Sleuth away as Sleuth tries to drag him somewhere they can clean the cut on his head. Sleuth just smirks mischievously and walks ahead, turning to look back and giving a wink as his only answer. Slick just chuckles, getting his meaning, and he follows, pointing out a door near the end of the back hall.

“We got a private little lounge back there, if that’ suit your little plans, Sleuth.”

“Oh, I think it’ll do just fine.”

By the time they’ve reached the door, Slick is already getting handsy, arms around Sleuth’s waist, clinging to him in a slightly inebriated manner. He’s started to untuck Sleuth’s shirt as they open the door, but they freeze in their tracks, catching sight of Droog and Deuce trying to comfort a crying Ms. Paint.

“Uh.”

“Oh gee boss, hi! And hi to you too Sleuth! Nice of you to join us!”

“I would have thought you’d want to stay and brawl boss, seeing as you started it.”

“You started that fight Slick?”

Slick just holds up his hands at the accusing glares pointed his way, surreptitiously pointing at the still-crying dame. She looks up when she notices everyones stopped talking, and she wipes her eyes, giving a faint smile.

“Oh, hello Slick. Sleuth. I didn’t notice you come in at first…”

“Aw, baby, don’t worry, they don’t mind! Right guys?”

The rest of them just nod as Deuce goes back to rubbing Paint’s back, whispering to her in a calm voice. Droog walks over to the small mini bar in the corner and Slick stalks after him, leaving Sleuth standing in the door awkwardly for a moment. He decides to leave the two on the couch to their own devices and follow the others to the bar, cluing himself in to their conversation.

“I thought I asked you not to start a fight tonight.”

“Yeah, well, you know how it is here, if I didn’t start it someone else would have eventually-”

“That’s not my point, Slick. I would have liked to leave here without having to clean up one of your messes for once.”

“Eh, just throw some bills at the management, they always pull it together. What’s all the fuss?”

Droog just gives him an unimpressed look and goes about pouring drinks from an unmarked bottle, thoughtfully pouring one for Sleuth too. Slick downs his shot in one go, elbowing Sleuth in the side and giving him a look.

“I think Mister Prissy here is just upset because I went and got his boyfriend all riled up again.”

“Boyfriend?”

“You know how he gets when there's a fight, Slick-”

“Aww c’mon, can’t you let a guy enjoy himself a little? Last I saw he was doing fine. Had one guy in a choke hold!”

“Wait, wait, wait, Boyfriend?”

“Is that why you’re angry about this? Because he’d rather stay out there and fight than follow you back here?”

“I think you’re misunderstanding me, Slick-”

“Woah, hold on, ok. You and Hearts and an item?”

Droog just glares at Sleuth, tired of his interruptions. He downs his own shot and sets the bottle on the bar, turning and heading for the door.

“If you need me, I’ll be out there cleaning up Slick’s mess.”

Slick just sneers and pours himself another shot, while Sleuth sets his own down untouched, leaning heavily against. the bar.

“They’re a thing? Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Since when?”

“Like I would know? Droog’s a secretive ass. I don’t really remember when I figured it out.”

“But, I mean. Him. With him?”

“They’re so gay together I’m surprised you hadn’t noticed yet.”

“I- what? Well I barely even see them, and only because you bring me along somewhere. How would I even know? And they didn’t seem all that, uh. When we were drinking earlier.”

“Nah, you should see them when they think they’re alone, its so gay.”

“But, aren’t we-”

“Nah, we’re just friends with benefits. Now them, they’re gay.”

“..If you say so, Slick.”

Sleuth just gives him a strange look and finally downs his own glass, nearly choking in surprise at the strong licorice flavor. Hes about to start questioning Slick again when Slick goes over to the couch where Deuce and paint are sitting, talking to them in a hushed tone. Sleuth hears Deuce say “That's a great idea, Boss! What do you think, Paint?” and sees them get up from the couch and walk out the door, Paint nodding in agreement to whatever had been suggested. Sleuth finally realizes what’s up when Slick goes and locks the door, turning and leaning against it with his version of a seductive look.

“You know, you still haven’t told me what your other plans were for the evening.”

**Author's Note:**

> Man I really need to remember to post these things when I write them.


End file.
